DamnAverage Above Average Alien: Review

A Bit About DamnAverage

DamnAverage run solely by a wonderful lady named Sheep., once an Etsy toymaker, has since launch DamnAverage.com. Focusing on Fantasy toys as well as various critters and squishies, Damn Average has brought a wonderful amount of skill and passion to the art of custom dildo making.

At the time of writing this review DamnAverage is still working on bringing everything over to their new domain, you may need to check their Etsy page for current listings.

The Details

­­We decided to go with the Above Average Alien, it looked unique enough while offering the size we would find most effective. We were given the options of colors and firmness and the toy came out better than we ever imagined. Working with the Sheep was wonderful and was much quicker than our experience with other Fantasy Toy makers.

DamnAverage lists the following measurements for the Above Average Alien, and I have found them to be spot on:

Approximate Dimensions:

Total Length: 7.5″ / 19cm

Useable Length: 6.5″ / 16.5cm

Diameter of Glans: 2×1.75″ / 5×4.5cm

Circumference of Glans: 5.75″ / 14.5cm

Circumference of First Ridge: 5.75″ / 14.5cm

Circumference of Second Ridge: 6.25″ / 15.8cm

Base Footprint: 3×3.75″ / 7.5x9cm


What I really love about the size charts at DamnAverage is the specific sizing of the various parts of the toy. After reviewing many toys, we have found sizing to be an issue across the board. Nothing is more disappointing when you order a new toy only to find it is too big in certain parts, or to small overall.

The Above Average Alien is the bigger brother of the Average Alien. At 1.9” Diameter and 7.5” length, this toy is full of texture from the tip to the base. The multiple ridges that adorn the shaft remind us of some of our favorite toys, such as the Tantus Echo and the Maia Astral, but with a size more closely relating to the Tantus General. But rather than uniform ridges these bulge out at separate areas, these bumps and ridges seem natural and organic giving it a more fantasy feel.


We love it! I feel like the Above Average Alien has traits that are in some of our favorite toys all in one package. From the density of the silicone to the diameter of the shaft and ridges, this DamnAverage toy is anything but average.

The head of the toy is distinct, yet not overly large or bulbous. Some of our earlier qualms with other toys is the large head compared to a much smaller shaft. This makes toys difficult to insert, and once inserted you lose that stretch feeling as the widest portion is already inside. Not with the Above Average Alien, the large diameter is echoed down the shaft through two more distinct ridges adding texture that is divine in prostate/g-spot stimulation.

These ridges remind us of some of our other favorite toys, but the combination of the size and density of the silicone make this toy a little easier to use. I personally love the texture of the Maia Astral but the silicone is some of the hardest we own, that can make it more of a challenge despite its slightly smaller size. Another comparable favorite of ours is the Tantus General, its silicone is not as hard as the astral but its size can prove a challenge at times. I feel the Above Average Alien has meshed some of my favorite toys into an unique experience, that can be enjoyed more often than some of our more challenging toys.

These details cover the entire toy down to the base. Adorned with two horn/clasper shapes protruding from one side, the base is as ornate and beautiful as the rest of the toy. The base is neither heavy nor unwieldy, it gives the dildo a solid footing in which to stand without hindering it in use. We have used this toy vaginally, anally, in a harness, and by itself and the Above Average Alien excels in every use.

There may be something about fantasy toys that attracts the user a little more than usual. The uniqueness of your toy, and the hand you played in its creation only adds to the charm. You are no longer stuck with the options of pink, purple, or black, nor  are you limited with choices that mirror our own anatomy. You are given free rein to harness your imagination and choose options that fits your needs, wants, and desires and make something that is unique, special, and all your own.

Cleaning Instructions

The 100% Ultra Premium Silicone used is nothing but quality. As with any silicone toy the options are plentiful when it comes to cleaning. For our Silicone toys, we usually stick to Tantus’ suggestions of:

For a quick clean, use antibacterial soap with warm to hot water, or use a toy cleaner (one without Triclosan!).

For a more extensive clean, you can boil your toy for 2 minutes, with enough water to cover. You can also spray or rinse your product in a 10% bleach solution. Do NOT boil bleach.

To clean toys with grooves, crevices, and texture, you may put your product in the dishwasher on a regular cycle on the bottom rack.

Let air dry, or clean with a lint free cloth.

For more information on materials and cleaning instructions check out the materials guide.






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